All Systems Slop-Nominal
Microsoft's infrastructure is currently operational. Shocking, we know.
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Infrastructure Services
Each service is pinged directly from your browser every 30 seconds. RTT values show real response times.
The Void of Productivity
Loading Since 2019
Oopsie Dashboard
Sync or Swim
Hallucination Engine
Acquired & Confused
Restart Loop Simulator
Always Operational 💰
* Billing never goes down
90-Day Slop History
Each square represents one day. Green = operational, yellow = degraded, red = outage.
Microsoft Teams
100.00%
Outlook
100.00%
Azure Portal
100.00%
OneDrive
100.00%
Copilot AI
100.00%
GitHub
100.00%
Windows Update
100.00%
Billing Systems
100.00%
Recent Incidents
Documented infrastructure failures and their spectacularly creative resolutions.
Teams Goes Dark — Nobody Noticed
Microsoft Teams experienced a complete outage lasting 4 hours. Productivity actually increased during the incident.
Outlook 'Loading...' Becomes Permanent Feature
Users report the Outlook loading spinner has been spinning for 72 hours straight. Microsoft confirms it's 'by design'.
Azure Portal Shows Wrong Subscription Data
Azure Portal displayed billing information from random other tenants. Engineers spent hours debugging their own configs before Microsoft acknowledged the issue.
Copilot Starts Recommending Competitor Products
Copilot in Edge began recommending Google Docs over Microsoft Word, citing 'superior collaboration features'. The incident lasted 2 hours.
GitHub Actions Randomly Deletes Repositories
A bug in GitHub Actions caused workflows to delete source repositories instead of build artifacts. Multiple open-source projects lost their main branches.
Community Smoke Signals
When Microsoft's own status page lies, the community speaks truth.